Burn it! Kick it! Stretch it! Wet it! Beat it! Throw it! Stomp on it! Stab it! Roll over it with your car! Nothing hurts the Wow-Sak! Ladies and gents, we have so much confidence in this product that tonight we bring you a live demonstration. You are right to be excited because this product […]
Archive | November, 2011
Science 101 Destroys All Hope
Don’t wish on stars They’re just yesterday’s light Last week’s glow Stop the hunt for four-leaf clover Truth be told they’re just mutant weeds Salt over the shoulder is wasted salt Birthday candles only delay gratification Shooting stars aren’t magically inclined Screaming by, they can’t answer Plaintive pleas Please quit blowing eyelashes They’re only hair […]
I’m Just Saying (Dot, Dot, Dot)
Everybody hates their feet, They have to, they stink. Armpits, however, are manageable, So are runny noses, they don’t have feet. Good thing, because the stench would kill us. Elbows on the table are impolite, Silent farting is preferred, Except in elevators, Because crap music deserves some accompaniment. Preposterous is not ancestral to the modern […]
Killer Commute
The Unemployment Blues
