I’m Just Saying (Dot, Dot, Dot)

Everybody hates their feet,
They have to, they stink.
Armpits, however, are manageable,
So are runny noses, they don’t have feet.
Good thing, because the stench would kill us.
Elbows on the table are impolite,
Silent farting is preferred,
Except in elevators,
Because crap music deserves some accompaniment.
Preposterous is not ancestral to the modern day hippo,
Nor is it an excuse to run away from home
In hopes of becoming a world class lip juggler,
A pimp, perhaps.
Edward Scissorhands was a sharp fellow,
Captain Hook…not so much.
Never never land belly first into a pool,
Or ass backwards into a bet or bed,
Unless you know beforehand.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
And mine catches like a girl,
I wonder if she’s pretty?
If nobody was home, would you pee with the bathroom door closed?
If someone was watching, would you still have to go?
If not, was nature really calling in the first place?
And if it wasn’t nature, who was it?
Life is like a box of chocolates
No wonder we all think we’re fat.
People who claim to travel faster than a speeding bullet should wear bullet proof vests,
With sleeves …
I’m just saying.
Marathons are a sweaty waste of time,
B.O. ruins your chances
At anything beyond impressing foot doctors.
And folks, every moment, smelly or not, is precious.
So what’d you think of this one?

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