They say integrity is the most desirable virtue, but I say it’s continence
Archive | Banters
Rain ponchos are for cowards
A summer banter from our publisher
A mirror is really just a window with a disturbing view
Call me prudish, but I prefer doing it alone
A window is really just a mirror with a bug screen
They say three’s a company but four’s a crowd, unless you’re in an orgy
If trees could talk they’d probably just scream
Say what you will about First World problems, they’re still problematic
Paper cuts are only dangerous when you’re naked
Nursery rhymes are kind of kinky and cruel
Obscenity is a fickle concept
They say it all started with a bang but I like to think it was more of a pop. Like the one I hear in my lower back every time I get up from the toilet.
Never trust a man who drinks milk before bed
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Yet no one appreciates that when I’m impersonating Stephen Hawking.
Chevy Chase just doesn’t smile like he used to
You can’t make a potato out of an omelette, but you can make an omelette out of a potato. Which is at once a curious statement on the origin of creation and a shallow attempt to give meaning to a latke.
Say what you will about Norwegian pornography . . .
They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, which is an idiom to rationalize the ignorance of elders.