A summer banter from our publisher
Call me prudish, but I prefer doing it alone
They say three’s a company but four’s a crowd, unless you’re in an orgy
Say what you will about First World problems, they’re still problematic
Nursery rhymes are kind of kinky and cruel
They say it all started with a bang but I like to think it was more of a pop. Like the one I hear in my lower back every time I get up from the toilet.
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Yet no one appreciates that when I’m impersonating Stephen Hawking.
You can’t make a potato out of an omelette, but you can make an omelette out of a potato. Which is at once a curious statement on the origin of creation and a shallow attempt to give meaning to a latke.
They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, which is an idiom to rationalize the ignorance of elders.
Dementia is a bitch, but it can also be endearing. Especially when I pee in the fridge and put my socks in the toaster.