She always seemed like she was having a good time, you know?
At P. Diddy’s party she did Jello shots with Nicky on top of the bar
while Lindsay Lohan regaled partygoers with a dramatic reading
of Charge of the Light Brigade clad only in bed sheets. It was so hot!
But lately Tara’s been crying in public over the smallest things.
I mean, at the Versace shindig the waterworks started flowing
just because she lost her dog-eared copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray.
I know she just misplaced it like she always does after too many drinks.
So guess what she does? She starts reciting “The Hollow Men”.
Talk about a downer… locked herself in the restroom for three hours!
I tried to cheer her up with Keats’ “Ode on a Grecian Urn” but it was no use.
When she finally opened the door, she bumped into me, whimpering,
“This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends…”
Seriously creeped me out! We really need to find that girl a boyfriend.
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