Author Archive | Greg Santos

Paris Hilton on Tara Reid

She always seemed like she was having a good time, you know? At P. Diddy’s party she did Jello shots with Nicky on top of the bar while Lindsay Lohan regaled partygoers with a dramatic reading of Charge of the Light Brigade clad only in bed sheets. It was so hot! But lately Tara’s been […]

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Reject Children’s Book Titles

Let’s Go Play in a Lightning Storm! The Many Adventures of Ricky the Rabid Racoon Hubert the Happy Hobo and the Magical Alleyway Candies from Strangers Taste the Sweetest Let’s Guess what’s in the Unmarked Bottles Kimmy the Klepto Goes to K-mart My Daddy Used to be my Mommy Spongebob Nopants Goes to Court The […]

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Alternate careers for former Expos mascot “Youppi!” should his stint with the Montreal Canadiens not work out

Elmo’s kooky uncle on Sesame Street Co-hosting Regis & Youppi! Seeing eye monster Motivational speaker Stunt double for McDonald’s Grimace Contestant in Dancing With the Stars Disgruntled union president for furry mascots Bodyguard for Brangelina Make a comeback starring in a Tarantino film Mascot for the Church of Scientology

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Showbiz

I was sitting in the park feeding pigeons when a squirrel came over to me. It was gray with white tufts under its ears. I tossed some bread crumbs at it but the squirrel just tilted its head and looked at me. I snapped my fingers and it jumped a little, startled by the sudden […]

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