Cauterized memories from Spring Break ’03
Author Archive | Jacob Pacey
A Speech by Justin Trudeau if Justin Trudeau Spoke Like Donald Trump
If you can’t eat them, join them
A step-by-step guide to looking happy and healthy in digital photos, which is all that really matters because you don’t go out in public anymore anyway.
A love letter to anyone who has ever looked for jobs on Craigslist.
Let us tell you about David. He works at the Coalition Against Child Slavery. His employer refers to workers like him as “interns,” but David is no fool. Working twelve-hour days for almost no pay, he knows what he really is: he is a human slave.
Hey princess, before your mother and I tuck you in tonight, we wanted to both tell you that we’ve discussed the situation of the monster under your bed and your request that one of us, preferably me, “Go and kill it.”
Thirteen possibilities, including: “Slaughter of the Nazgûl: The Valorization of Animal Cruelty at the Battle of the Pelennor Fields”