we have the front end and the rear end the front end speaks untruth the rear end blows out truth
Archive | November, 2007
Monkey Business
I wondered just what species of monkey you had on your back so I went to the library to look. All the monkeys were too small. The chimps were the right size but the librarian said they were apes. Perhaps you are going ape instead.
Two Takes on My Girlfriend’s Cat’s Thanksgiving Vacation
What my Girlfriend Believes Her Cat Was Thinking While We Were on Thanksgiving Vacation: It’s about time I learn how to turn on that stove. I could detach this window screen from in here and easily reattach it from the outside ledge. Quarters and thumbtacks don’t taste as awesome as they look. I bet I […]
Beaver Gets Downsized
SCENE: The family room in the Cleaver household. The room is empty with the exception of Ward Cleaver who is leaning back in his easy chair, pipe at his side, intently leafing through a magazine called “Leather Bondage Boys.” Beaver comes in the front door and Ward jumps before throwing his magazine behind the chair. BEAVER: (excited) Hi, […]
No Third Date
Letts can’t date you because her girlfriend shook her head “no” behind your back.
Dude Where’s My Car?
In your garage, dude. Remember last night outside the parking lot at The Buckeye? You were completely hammered. I said, “Dude, I’m taking your car and driving you home. I’m going to park your car in your garage. Please remember this. Please do not call me at work the next day like you always do […]
You Can’t Sing the Blues with Dirty Knickers: An Alabama Poet Takes the Stage
Woke up Wednesday mornin’ Feelin’ kinda blue Lost my steamin’ woman Lookin’ for ma glooo Lookin’ for ma glooo Left a Greyhound station ‘Bout a quarter to two I said… I left a Greyhound station Lookin’ for my glooo Memphis jail awaitin’ Awaitin’ my bourbon stew Memphis jail awaitin’ Goo – goo – goo goo […]