He wears animal skins and commands people to repent.
He insists on playing Willy Nelson tunes to enhance the mood during sex.
He drives a car with no hood over the engine — on purpose.
His last two girlfriends disappeared under mysterious circumstances.
He’s read the entire Harry Potter series fifty times.
He insists he has a driving problem, not a drinking problem.
He’s unaware of the typo on his tattoo.
He raced back into your burning house to save his PlayStation.
He proposed during your performance review at work.
No one has ever seen him wear anything except a ratty old Dallas Cowboys t-shirt from 1994.
He wants to a buy a house near Hooters because “it will help keep property taxes low.”
He chose Beast Of Burden as the song for the slow dance at your wedding.
He knows how to enter and start a car with only a screwdriver.
He took you to a casino for your first date.
You’re set to become his fifth wife.
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