Have a Dusty Burger and Coke thinkin’ how those vegetarians don’t eat meat. Buddy Tommy likes the skinny pink waitress, gonna introduce her ears to her feet. Ex-girlfriend walks in with her husband, French goblin whose hygiene can offend. His politics are socialist, hers are pretend. Women here don’t know too much or too hard, […]
Archive | November, 2010
Womens Ad Lib
Dear Jack, As you may have guessed from the letters, photos and dismembered teddy bears I’ve been sending you, I found our breakup very difficult. After spending two years of my life committed to someone, I couldn’t bring myself to accept the reality that I was really alone. I realize now, with the help of […]
The Future of Journalism
When Worlds Collide
I’ve heard people joke about it, But I have never seen Hanging breasts that threaten To cross the equator of a belt line. But here she is, This woman walking toward me, Her tight brown sweater, A swaying mammary hammock, Doing frighteningly little to avoid The inevitable collision Of breast and belt buckle.
Art Is Hard
It had been six months since Gus sold a painting. “Was it the politically charged themes that caused my sales to drop?” he pondered. “Of course not. It’s the people. They just don’t get it!” To feed himself he relied on his credit card. Unable to pay the rent for the last three months, he […]
Bionic Vision
Menopause Blues
I go into the kitchen and stand there for a bit. I must have wanted something but I can’t remember it I break into a rolling sweat at least ten times a day And when I tell the doctor he just says it’s nature’s way Each morning starts with tweezing out the newly burgeoned stubble […]
How to Think of a Topic for an Essay
I hate English. This is often the first thought that runs through a student’s head when their teacher assigns them an essay. Why? It’s simple: essays are hard to write. Coming up with a topic for an essay is especially hard. The topic is what gets the creative juices flowing. It’s the base for the […]
Modular Construction
Yo Freshly Shaved Man
Mmm hmm! Silky smooth skin. No scrape to escape, No furry face, No monkey mug, No chimp cheek, No ’stache to scratch, No beard to fear, Not a hair to beware, Cuz the fuzz was buzzed. He’s goatee-free, guaranteed; Feel for yourself, you’ll agree. He ain’t no whiskered mister, No hairy Henry, No hirsute galoot. […]