JUST THE FACTS Born: Toronto, Dec. 25, 1976 Currently living in: Toronto Favourite book growing up: That Scatterbrain Booky by Bernice Thurman Hunter First book published: The Middle Stories (McSweeney’s Books 2002) If not a writer she would be: An actor What inspires her: “The people, artists around me and personalities. I’m interested in what makes a human a human.” Currently working on: A […]
Archive | May, 2010
Old Pond, Frog Leaping, Splash!
If the pond denotes everything, And the frog indicates change, Perhaps it was Bashö’s clever “splash,” That clearly set the stage. For what many a man oft impart, At the closure of some foul end, Bashö’s wrote in fewer words, Merely, that: “shit happens.”
You Had To Be There or Back in my Day They Didnt Call Old People Frogs
Duct-tape booths were everywhere — in blue, orange, red and the new Jonas Brothers duct tape that sold like hotcakes. Was “hotcakes” a euphemism back then? Nick Jonas stood on the podium presenting Jonas Brothers duct tape. Some girl in the crowd was wrapped up entirely in Jonas Brothers duct tape. She looked like a […]
The World Is Not Meant for Everyone
Snorted Father
The Daily Blab
records the latest movements of a certain persona magnata a certain persona prima donna a certain je non sequitur furrowed brows browse among the rows of magazines just as we suspected they seem to say the world really is that fucked up
Party in the Paddock: The pearls of equine retirement
Falstaff swished his tail and snorted towards the horse in the next stall. “They runnin’ you today, Romeo?” Romeo lowered his head, turned his long nose with its white star design toward his stablemate. “Oh, so you heard.” Falstaff neighed with laughter. “Bad luck, that is.” “Yep. I pulled Fat Boy as my jock. My back hurts […]
Henry VIII Discusses Real Estate with Thomas Cranmer, or Always Remember Who You’re Talking To
Henry VIII loved owning houses and property, especially stately mansions and castles. He had a habit of exchanging his lesser-valued lands with the more valuable properties of his nobles and wealthy citizens. One day, meeting with Thomas Cranmer, The Archbishop of Canterbury, Henry said that he wished to exchange some of his property for Cranmer’s […]
Squirrel Life
Mei Wan and Irate Cephalopods
The computer stared at him, empty. He returned the gaze. All I have to do is write episode 261 and I will have completed my contract, he thought. But he couldn’t. Mei Wan laughed at him, and Octopus Duke could go fuck himself. Sitting back, sighing, lighting up another cigarette. This children’s show was finally […]