War breaks out at the model UN:
It’s the war of the overachievers!
Scrambling for scraps of prestige!
Trimming fat from the bacon of our lives!
Sizzling in the forum of public spectacle!
Shit! Is there a doctor in the house?
Somebody’s just been crushed by the weight
of their own resume!
We’ve got more boats than destinations
but it’s the journey that counts—
No, wait. I mean the prestige,
it’s the prestige that counts.
Let me ask you this though:
If a tree falls in the forest
and nobody is around to hear, does it deserve a medal?
And who gets credit?
And can I take credit
for coming up with this question?
And what is the sound…
of one hand patting
its owner on the back?
This week I’m climbing
Mount Everest
because next week
my caesarean is scheduled
for my third surrogate donor-child
and I have to prepare
for a speech at the
world delegation
about living life to the fullest—
and by fullest I mean
more full than anybody else.
God bless the burger flippers,
breeders and
chimney sweepers
For there are no winners
without losers
and I want to make sure
you’re doing your part.
You can’t move to the top
without people to stand on so
get beneath me, dammit!
Get beneath me!
Get beneath me!
Thank you.
Comments are closed.