Your uncle is so fat . . . that when he gets buried next to your aunt they are really going to need to dig a big hole!
Your daughter is so filled with your genetic material . . . that her male children will probably bald early and be prone to depression too!
Your grandmother is so old . . . that when I asked her what her favourite soup was, she said “primordial!” (And then she also said she suffers from acute arthritis that makes it difficult for her to get around, so you should probably look into nursing-home options if you are a humane person at all!)
Your stepfather is so tenuously related to you . . . that if your mother died you probably would only see him a few more times to go through the motions before ultimately losing touch seven to ten months later!
Your sister looks so much like you . . . that I almost told her I no longer get anything out of our friendship!
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