Humankind has done many wondrous things in its relatively short existence on this planet. People have cured diseases, walked on the moon, created sophisticated works of art and philosophy. We continue to make giant leaps in technology, athletics and commerce. But are we really any greater than the animals? I mean, come on, we still need to go to the bathroom?
If you think about it, you’ll realize that humanity still hasn’t overcome the basics. We just take these fundamental, everyday issues for granted. Shouldn’t we have solved the whole breathing problem before we started polluting our air supply? That one isn’t even ON Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – what an oversight! Our daily life is riddled with problems no one seems in much of a hurry to fix. They’re so obvious, and they’re hiding in plain sight.
Consider the following unresolved matters:
Sleep: I need eight hours every night and I am sick of it. Granted, the ‘war on sleep’ is being waged with caffeine. Thank you, Red Bull.
Shelter: Have we learned nothing from turtles and snails?
Going to the bathroom: It’s as if our parents toilet train us and then decide “That’s good enough!” Everyone is obsessed with quick-fixes in this day and age. I say, we need to get to the root of the problem already, which leads me to…
Eating: Many North Americans are doing the opposite of combating this problem. They spend extra time and resources surrendering to it. That’s just counterproductive.
Physical pain: Is ‘PCP’ really the best we can do for this dilemma?
To be fair, there are some primary problems on the radar, as it were. Geographic distance is less and less of a problem. Satellites and jet propulsion continue to make our world smaller. Speaking of jets, they represent our finest attempt to win the war on gravity. I look forward to personal jet packs, as envisioned on The Jetsons.
But the problem that’s getting the most attention of all is aging. I am confident that the piles of money that the baby boomers are throwing at this problem will resolve it in short order. Thanks, old-timers.
The problem, however, with conquering aging is that it does nothing to vanquish the largest problem in life: death. Jesus Christ overcame this one, but we have yet to see someone else pull it off. (It’s not like he left detailed instructions on how to follow him or anything.) Both Rasputin and Evel Knievel were put down eventually. What’s even worse is that humanity has created a problem that is as certain as death itself: taxes. As if we didn’t have enough inherent issues.
My first suggestion for dealing with these basic ordeals is that we need to stop making new ones, in order to focus on what’s really important. I think we could do without war, poverty, and bigotry, for starters. But that’s just me. Some other people have a short list that includes Lindsay Lohan’s partying, others focus on gay marriage.
My second suggestion is that we don’t take our solutions too far. Many thought we were on the right track, dealing with our need for warmthby burning coal. However, Al Gore tells me that it’s gotten out of hand, and we shouldn’t be warming the entire globe. Fair enough.
The entrepreneurial spirit of an increasingly capitalist planet will inevitably confront our true problems. We have a lot of needs to be met, and it’s going to take our finest minds and a lot of your cash to deal with them.
In the meantime, keep talking about these matters so we don’t neglect them – and by talk, I mean with your basic skills as we still haven’t mastered telepathic communication yet.
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