I590-1595 (estimated)
King John. (Theatre unknown)
Old French-English fights.
Fights over throne. At the end,
required death scene.
1590 (estimated)
Henry VI, Part One. (The Rose Theatre in London)
Two dukes: red versus white.
Henry goes with red, starts war.
People start to die.
1591 (estimated)
Titus Andronicus. (Possibly the Rose Theatre)
Roman general
gets revenge on Queen and sons-
He cooks sons; eats them.
1592-1593 (estimated)
Henry VI, Part Three. (Theatre unknown)
Great torture scenes here,
Gory killings make skin crawl,
Guy lives for next play.
1593 (estimated)
The Taming of the Shrew. (Theatre unknown)
Kate’s really moody,
Maybe PMS? Meets match,
becomes housewife-type.
1593 (estimated)
The Life and Death of King Richard III. (Theatre unknown)
Crowned, then turns evil
Gives God-awful pep talk. Then,
doubts self and despairs.
1594 (estimated)
Romeo and Juliet. (Theatre unknown)
Oh, young puppy love
never worked out better.
One—poisoned, one—stabbed.
1595 (estimated)
A Midsummer-Night’s Dream. (Theatre unknown)
Lovers stay in woods,
Possibly a mass orgy?
Prey to fairies’ pranks.
1596
The Merchant of Venice. (Theatre unknown)
Shylock: Jewish crook,
Moneylender demands pay
Hannibal L.-style.
1596
Henry IV, Part One. (Theatre unknown)
Scottish challenge King
More throne-usurping action,
And bullying, too.
1597
Henry IV, Part Two. (The Curtain)
After Part 1, knight
ridiculed, drinks. STD’s
from random hooker.
1599
Henry V. (Either the Globe or the Curtain)
Now mature, grown-up
he tries to take over France.
Who’s surprised, really?
1599
Julius Caesar. (The Globe)
Power gets me offed
Seventeen stab wounds as I
die nobly in drag.
1600 (estimated)
Troilus and Cressida. (The Globe)
Trojan prince woos girl,
Falls in love, sexes her up.
Sees her with guy; whore.
1600
Hamlet. (The Globe)
My uncle kills dad,
fucks my mom. We all should be
thrown in loonie bin.
1601
Twelfth Night Or What You Will. (The Globe)
Mistaken ID,
Girl falls for guy—he thinks she’s
male. Now gay porn?
1603 (estimated)
Othello. (The Globe)
Jealousy, wrongly-
accused cheating. I die, you
die. All go to hell.
1604 (estimated)
Timon of Athens. (The Globe)
Rich lord loses his friends,
Flees, makes home in cave, eats roots.
There’s gold in that hole!
1605
King Lear. (The Globe)
I was dumb, gave land
to two daughters. They in turn
turned on me. Bitches….
1606
Macbeth. (The Globe)
I think my wife is
a sly manipulator,
As I talk to skulls.
1608
Antony and Cleopatra. (The Globe)
Cleo, Tony die,
It’s Octavius’s fault,
Losers stand no chance!
1610
The Tempest. (Theatre unknown)
Trapped on Temptation
Island. Hot chicks, tons of fights,
Hallucinogens.
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