Richard Burton embalmed himself with scotch

Women named Bronte make for good writers
Womanizing playboys make for good presidents
Anna Nicole Smith is not a floatation device
Neither was the Titanic
More people have choked on lifesavers
Than have used them not to drown
I’m not afraid of Virginia Woolf
But I am afraid of Elizabeth Taylor
Richard Burton embalmed himself with scotch
You would too if Michael Jackson was your wife’s best friend
Kiddy-fiddlers make for poor baby sitters
Child stars make for great drug addicts
Shirley Temple is not a drink
Huckleberry Finn was a brat
Mark Twain never let his schooling interfere with his education
He was pretty smart for a measurement stick
Some believe Einstein got a perm every morning before rocket surgery
And that DaVinci’s helicopter was actually a ceiling fan
The Mona Lisa’s masculinity is masked by his smile
George Eliot was not a man
George Orwell turned pigs into communists
Oscar Wilde died a happy old man
Revisionist history is fun