REJECTION
I received today, your rejection notice
Together with the copy of your
So-called magazine.
Tell me, which of your contributors
Are you sleeping with?
All of them I suspect, from
The quality of your lacklustre journal.
I’ve looked at the fiction section
And Dickens it ain’t.
As for the poetry, I can only imagine
This is the large-breasted blonde edition.
What favours do they do to get their drivel
In print? Or is it Blackmail?
I sense paedophilic intent
In every word you publish.
What’s this? “The sun shone
Down from a cloudless sky”. Get me
The cliché squad. A Use of English SWAT team,
Reinforcements from the Shakespeare
Armoured battalion equipped with
Flame throwers to incinerate the whole
Banal melange. There’s more.
“The ghostly shadows of their forms”
Will – don’t tell me – appear inconclusive?
Against the night’s pale moon?
Pass the sick bag, before my vomit
Floods across your correspondents’
Turgidly dull verbage and you drown.
ACCEPTION
I agree! Your selection regime is tough.
It’s an assault course for poets, if
My experience is anything to go by,
So when you said the ‘haunting
Cadences of Still Life with Cats’
Are just what you’re looking for,
I felt a bond with your true humanity.
In the light of my success, I have
Enclosed another forty-three poems
All about cats I have known! You must
Be forthright in judgement and I look
Forward to your encouragement and
Approval. There is also money enclosed,
As I know true literary talent
Can only flourish in such a milieu
As your own. Tell me, do you also
Publish fiction? My novel, CatWorld,
Is nearing completion and sections
Couldbe available for publication
In your August journal,
If, of course, you felt it appropriate.
Meanwhile, can I say how much I
Enjoyed the work of my fellow
Contributors? In this regard I would
Mention the poem A Cake Without Icing, and the
Sonnet, On a New Bathroom’s Grouting.
Both struck a chord with me!
Would you be available for lunch
On the twenty-second? I’m in town
That day and would love to meet.
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