man seeking an aphorism — a catchy little chestnut to widen some eyes to giggle in the folds of a dress, a phrase that admits defeat and cringes at sympathy. a subject line that says i am part of it now, i am the goat eating from my own salty palm — the old lump […]
Archive | December, 2010
A Character Sketch . . . In which we meet Björn Hooderstund
Water was dripping from my chin like drool from the crooked snout of a cross-eyed retarded poodle as I waited for the number 3 bus on a rainy day in early spring. The cuffs of my pants had thoroughly absorbed the puddle I was standing in and the water was slowly creeping past my knees. My […]
Part II: The Thistlefield Arts Collective Chat
Hello and welcome to the podcast for Thistlefield, Illinois’s Book Chat. I’m Lescott Baines coming to you from amphitheatre 3C in the Shriner’s Buck Palace on the corner . . . oh, sweet Jesus, with the buffer again. Frank. Frank! Shut the goddamned buffer off. The studio is red lit just now. Frank, don’t you raise […]
Stories from My Life I’m Pitching for Hollywood Remakes
The Time I Got Drunk and Wrecked My Bicycle in Front of My Freshman Dorm For the lead, I’m thinking someone with less of a drunk-for-the-first-time-in-his-life-on-Everclear quality, and more of an aloof cockiness (Shia LaBeouf, maybe?). And for the love interest, instead of having her disappear halfway through the first act like in the original, […]
Absolute Nonsense
Right me astir re, Den I’ll reed it write a weigh, Or I’ll keep it write bees hide me, To reed an utter day. Ewe can tell me tall tails, Shore to entrance me, And oil put them sum ware, That every won can sea. Reeding is a pass shun, But righting eye a door, […]
