Never trust a man who re-corks his wine

Rowing your boat gently down a stream
Won’t make your marriage any closer to a dream
Especially if your children come with you
Byron used to swim in the Grand Canal
He also had a clubbed foot and slept with his sister
Incest won’t help you craft sweeter iambic pentameters
But it may help your claim to the English throne
Colonies have been plundered for their sugar and spice
I would start an opium war if it meant I could pepper my steak
I don’t like bay leaves or anyone who does
But I do like Posh and Ginger
The St. Louis Cardinals don’t select the pope
Neither do those pretty little birds
Robin Hood stole from the rich and gave to the poor
But that doesn’t mean he was from the school of Marx or Lenin
The Beatles wanted to be loved after the age of 64
They also wanted to live in a yellow submarine
Drug induced poetry can define a generation
But it won’t help you to climb a coconut tree
Jiminy Cricket wore a top hat but no glasses
Clark Kent always wore glasses but no top hat
He also wore tights that accentuated muscles which do not exist
The hardest word to spell in the English language is ‘excrement’
That’s why it has so many pseudonyms
To constipate is to plug a hole
Never trust a man who re-corks his wine