Lucky Penny must be found in the heads up position for activation of good luck. Any luck received from a tails-up penny is purely coincidental. Tails-up pennies are retrieved at your own risk, and serve only to set into motion the gears of your inevitable death. Upright Lucky Pennies are just fucking with you.
Archive | May, 2012
Cats and Dogs
Whacks Poetic
Then there was Tactful Tom Dolan, who took out his targets at their happiest moments.
Kool and the Gang Are a Pain in My Ass
I first heard ole Kool and the Gang twenty-five years ago, in the nights I used to flare my collar and dance until the polyester of my shirt looked metallic from the amount of sweat underneath. Now, for some reason, they’re on the oldies station. Go figure.
bad fish
Long-time contributor Jeffery Van den engh explores the chafed nipple of commercialism that is Wal-mart. And he finds that it really stinks.
Metro-Moldwyn-Monkey
The Manhattan monkey accent was mumbly, marble mouthed and mediocre at best. Yeah, we dare you to read this poem 10 times fast.
Phlejimalitonitis
“Phlejimalitonitis. Had it since I’s born.” “Spell that.” “No.”
The Quirk Epidemic
Sounds like quark, the particle no one can see, or quick, which also defines a particle no one can see. Sounds like a punctuation mark, an accent. Sounds like a cipher. Sounds like a computer problem—“users, we’re experiencing a quirk at the moment, but service will be back shortly.”
Christopher Meades
Vancouver-based author of The Three Fates of Henrik Nordmark and The Last Hiccup
The Fairy’s Cut: Nursery Rhymes Rejected by Mother Goose
Bang, bang, black rifle, have you any kill? Yes sir, yes sir, three traps full. One for a mink coat and gloves in the fall. One for the leather pants I find at the mall.