The Fairy’s Cut: Nursery Rhymes Rejected by Mother Goose

Mommy and Daddy

Mommy and Daddy had a great fight,

Mommy and Daddy yelled all night.

They bought me toys, they told me to choose,

Each said if I chose them, I couldn’t lose!

***

Bang, bang, black rifle

Bang, bang, black rifle, have you any kill?

Yes sir, yes sir, three traps full.

One for a mink coat and gloves in the fall.

One for the leather pants I find at the mall.

***

Leggy Patty Brown

Leggy Patty Brown

loved to go out on the town.

She wore a short skirt,

and loved to flirt

‘til she was caught with her panties down.

***

Rub-a-dub-dub

Rub a dub dub,

Three girls in a tub,

and who do you think they be?

The hot nurse, the schoolgirl

The French maid,

What a ménage a three.

***

Larry Larry was so hairy

Larry Larry was so hairy,

People thought he was quite scary.

But with fur covering his hands and feet,

He was so good for conserving heat.

Larry Larry was so hairy,

Had a girl he asked to marry.

A diamond ring to her he gave,

But first, she told him, he must shave.

***

Little Sally

Little Sally went to the shop,

Sally wanted a new top.

Had no cash, she didn’t fail,

But she spent the night in jail.

Comments are closed.