John Kreese was born in Calcutta on June 13, 1947, to parents Flavio Kreese, a dishonourably discharged American Marine, and Hilda Tempstead, a French circus midget with no toes or nostrils. Flavio was discharged after he jumped off a landing craft during the Normandy invasion, swam ashore away from the fighting, then met and later ran away with Hilda to India, where they began their new lives as Hare Krishnas. Three years later, Hilda died while giving birth to their son John.
After witnessing his wife’s death, Flavio went insane and attempted to feed his newborn son to a live king cobra. Upon doing so, he was taken into custody by local Calcutta officials, quickly tried, convicted, and sentenced to fifty years in a maximum-security prison.
The infant was sent to an orphanage. Six years later, a pair of wealthy American future Scientologists named Gordon and Ruth Flagstaff adopted the boy and returned him to the U.S. After living with him for only a week, the Flagstaffs realized how much of an asshole their new son was and sent him to a military school, where he remained until the legal age.
After finishing military school, John followed in the footsteps of his biological father and enlisted in the U.S. Armed Forces. During basic training, John showed an almost preternatural gift for hand-to-hand combat. Upon completion of basic training, he was sent to the Wu-Xo-Lin Center for Martial Arts in Fort Bragg, North Carolina, where he earned a black belt and the rank of sensei in an astonishing four days. He was quickly promoted to the rank of captain and deployed to Vietnam, where he was shot by one of his own soldiers and left for dead. Barely alive, he was discovered by the Viet Cong and taken to an underground prison infirmary. There he met wealthy young Private Terrance Silver, who had been captured after unsuccessfully attempting to rape the thirteen-year-old daughter of a Viet Cong commander at Quang Ngai. Captain Kreese and Private Silver bonded immediately.
Late one night, Private Silver put the moves on the head nurse while Captain Kreese snuck up from behind and snapped her neck. Private Silver grabbed her keys and the two of them made their way to the surface, permanently disfiguring several guards and hospital clerks along the way.
They made it back to the U.S. base in Quang Nai and were greeted as heroes. Both were given the choice to return stateside. Private Silver went home and was awarded the Legion of Merit. Captain Kreese opted to stay in Vietnam where, legend has it, he went on to complete forty missions and kill over five thousand Viet Cong, the majority of whom died from lethal roundhouse blows to the throat. He was awarded the Silver Star.
Upon finally returning to the States, Kreese reunited with Silver, who would train Kreese for the 1970, ’71 and ’72 U.S. Army Karate Championships, all of which Kreese won by using illegal moves to render his opponents inoperative.
After being honourably discharged, Silver went on to found a multibillion-dollar toxic-waste disposal company, the profits of which were used to help Kreese open the first Cobra Kai dojo. The name was derived from Kreese’s traumatic childhood experience with the snake and was meant to remind students that an enemy deserves no mercy. He continued to compete in the regional karate tournament circuit, but was permanently banned from competition after he tested positive for anabolic steroids a staggering five consecutive years. After the fifth time, he assaulted a member of the testing committee. Shortly thereafter, he was incarcerated and sentenced to eighteen months of community service, to be carried out in the form of teaching karate to kids in Compton.
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