October 11, 2391

During a recent archeological dig a stunning discovery was made. A small electronic device called a Game Boy was found sealed in a case deep underground. The Game Boy was brought to the World Historical Society to be studied. If dating on the device is correct then the Game Boy was created in 1989, making it over four hundred years old and the oldest artifact in existence today.

Much of the Old World was destroyed during the Environmental Crisis of 2195, when tornadoes tore cities apart, earthquakes shook the globe, volcanoes erupted, and tsunamis caused massive damage. Billions of people perished. Over time, we have lost our understanding of the past. That is why artifacts such as this are so important. Surprisingly, the device is still functional.

Located with the Game Boy were many discs. We at The World Historical Society believe past events were downloaded onto these discs to teach future generations. Now we can finally begin to study where we came from and fill in the gaps of our history. The first of the discs, labelled Super Mario, was recently analyzed.

The disc would not load in the beginning but after our research team blew the dust out, they were successful in starting their research. The first thing to appear was a banner that read Nintendo. We believe this was the name of the creator, or possibly a governing party. A menu saying Start Game appeared next. After pressing start, we were taken to a viewing screen with a small moustached man. We have named him Super Mario, after the title of the disc.

To our amazement we could control Super Mario by pressing buttons on the keypad. Pressing directional arrows allowed him to move from side to side, and up and down. He can jump high in the air by pressing the A button, and punch blocks using the B button.

After taking a few steps we encountered some animals. To our surprise they killed Mario on contact. The animals seem very different than animals today. There were flying turtles, jumping fish, small brown and black mushroom-looking creatures, and carnivorous plants poking in and out of tubes. None of them liked Super Mario and they tried to kill him. He was able to defeat them by jumping on them. It seems that killing was part of everyday life.

Thankfully, Mario was able to die and come back to life, meaning reincarnation was a common belief at this time. He was also able to evolve when alive. He would grow in size after eating a mushroom, throw fireballs after eating a flower, and become invincible after touching a star. He also possessed superior swimming ability, and could hold his breath for several minutes.

From what we can determine, a giant fire-breathing turtle kidnapped a princess. We are unsure if she was princess of Earth or only one area. Super Mario was chosen to rescue her. He is depicted as a protector, willing to take on dangerous quests for the greater good. He must have had a strong attachment to the princess because he was willing to fight anyone to get her back.

Some early travel was done through systems of tubes. They transported Super Mario to secret rooms with coins. We believe this civilization had a market system supported by coins. Reaching one hundred coins meant that Super Mario was able to live again. Just like today, having wealth meant a longer life.

We learned much about our past geography. Apparently, Earth consisted of eight small worlds. The topography of each was different. There were worlds made of sand, ice, and even lava. Super Mario appears destined to travel through each world in search of the princess. The first seven had decoys but in the eighth castle Super Mario rescued the real princess.

That concludes what we have learned from our research of Super Mario. We will continue researching this and other titles once we locate four AA batteries. If you have any batteries of this type please donate them to the World Historical Society main office. It is important that we continue developing our understanding of the past.