If You Turned Into an Alien, How Would I Know You Still Love Me?

For Tina

Would you leave the choicest
garbage cluttering my porch?

Could you use your new ray gun
to light candles, like a torch?

Would you ring my doorbell
and pretend you were my pet?

Might you be the antennae
on my television set?

Would you creep among the trees,
blowing kisses from afar?

When pollen covers everything,
would you wash my car?

Would you make friends with big ETs
and tell them all about me?

Then take me in a flying ship
to visit another galaxy?

And if this creature was really you,
I admit I don’t know what I’d do.

I’d rather that you figure how
to change back to my suitor.

’Cause when you were a human
you were definitely cuter.