1. Does the couple touch, kiss, or pet each other excessively?
If yes, no pet for them. They’ve been together for less than three months and will likely break up before the inevitable, adorable puppy they want is housebroken. Also, no puppy should have to see that much sex. If no, move on to question two.
2. Does the couple mention the tragic, unforeseen death of a former pet as a funny accident?
Example: “I can’t believe Sparky jumped into the microwave! And right before you heated up that soup!” No further explanation required.
3. Does the couple obviously hate each other?
Like having a baby, adopting a dog seems like a great way to save a sinking Titanic of a relationship. However, when they split up, they don’t go to doggie court to determine custody. Too often, this situation ends in a bitter leash tug-of-war.
4. Does the couple speak to each other through the dog?
Example: “Sparky, don’t you want your daddy to take you outside at 5:00 am so mommy can sleep? Mommy works so hard to support daddy’s writing career. Don’t you think mommy deserves to sleep?”
5. Does the couple annoy you to death with cutesy stories about other pets?
The more they bore you, the more they’ll probably dote on the damn dog. Adopt to them, but be ready to hide when they come back to show you their photo album full of Fido’s firsts.
Comments are closed.