Priscilla Presley didn’t kill the king

I understand that lovely Lulu loves liver
And that she sells sea shells by the sea shore
But I can not accept that Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers
Because that doesn’t make any sense
Doodlesack is German for bagpipe
But that doesn’t make sackdoodling acceptable in public
River dancers don’t move their arms
Neither do salmon
If wishes were fishes
We wouldn’t all be at the bottom of the sea
Because that makes less sense than a peck of pickled peppers
Priscilla Presley didn’t kill the king
But a steady diet of culinary clogging deep fried sandwiches may have
One rarely thinks to install a defibrillator next to the toilet
But then again one never truly expects to expire on the pooper
Bushy sideburns were once called mutton chops
And were only considered sexy by erudite civil war sergeants and Welsh goats
Some would argue that sheep should not be permitted in the bedroom
Clearly those people have never been to New Zealand