new year’s eve

sometimes you just need a good kick in the balls,
know what I mean?
just to shake things up,
and sure, it hurts, but the hurt will pass
and it makes for a great story,
and if it ends up needing surgery
that’s a few days of free room and board
on the government tab,
and if it means you can’t have any kids
who cares eh,
you didn’t want them anyway,
and besides, you just got kicked in the balls,
you’ve got better things to worry about.