Contrary to popular belief the French flag is not white

If a banger is a sausage
Spotted dick a pudding
And knickerbocker glory a parfait
Then why is there nothing sensual about English cuisine
Sex in a pan sounds complicated
So does the word ‘Coprastasophobia’
Contrary to popular belief the French flag is not white
And Wellington didn’t defeat Napoleon
Hemorrhoids did
A saddle rash, if left unattended, can cut short your sex life
So can a Rabbi
Thinly sliced Italian sausage goes well on pizza
Somersaults and cartwheels are not essential to a ninja’s defense
Unless you’re a mutated turtle
Paula Abdul didn’t always drink before supper
Boris Yeltsin liked a good polka and fermented potato juice before bed
Without his handle bar, Stalin felt naked
Maniacally groomed toothbrush moustaches are not pre-requisites to tyranny
Except among syphilitic dictators in Germany and Zimbabwe
That the moon still shines on Al Capone’s grave is somewhat sardonic
That I can’t find my untouchables is not