Archive | July, 2010
A Query Letter
Brian Phillip Whalen This Party, On or Near the Couch 616 Billy Sunday Rd., Apt. 209 Ames, IA 50014 (540) 333-4611 Dear Attractive Woman, Please consider my date “Dinner at Café Shi, Followed by a Chocolate Milk” for acceptance in your Monday evening. I am currently a student in the M.F.A. program in creative dating […]
Flamingo Road
I just bought a pink flamingo, one of those plastic ones. You know the kind, with a neck like an S-hook and a beak like Cher. They were in vogue before I was born . . . well, almost. We used to have one in the front yard when I was a kid — we called […]
Mosquitoes
Sonnet 130
My ex-love’s eyes don’t compare to the sun; They glisten and shine far brighter instead; At least for me, reflected boundless fun In shapes of gold coins, red wine and sweet bread. I resisted advances, but flagged white; He always got the tab, his manner meek. ’Course, plane tickets were an added delight; Though heavy […]
Things I Still Don’t Understand as I Turn 36
What a Roth IRA is. How my parents got together and continue to stay together. Why I thought I was fit to be someone’s father. How I literally talked nearly seven female humans into letting me touch all over their bodies. Why when I was sixteen and the Spin Doctors’ “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” […]