Sincere but Disenchanted Teacher Who Thinks Kinko’s is a Better Gig: OK guys, take out a sheet of paper. Today we’re going to write plans for the future. Sheltered Girl with Alcoholic Grandmother that is Loads of Fun: Can I have two puppies instead of that nasty gerbil I got for my birthday? Sincere but […]
Archive | July, 2008
Dyslexic Fire Alarm
Thank You Note
Dear Doctor, I can’t begin to thank you enough for leaving Some shred of my dignity intact. For poking, prodding and kneading me, For sucking blood from my veins And cash from my wallet. For fondling the family jewels. I especially remember the greased glove Anal treasure hunt (I never knew you had such big […]
Negotiations with My Son
Okay. One minute. Then bed. Three minutes. No. One minute. No. Three minutes. Okay. Two minutes. No. Three minutes. Fine. Three minutes. Five minutes. No. Five minutes. No. Three minutes. No. One minute. Okay. Good. We’re going down. One minute. Can I eat it? What? Can I eat it? Sure. Chomp.
Chat Room Jousters
Albert sat at the computer, his arthritic fingers hovered above the keys. He’d forgotten about the others in the library. His focus was on his argument with that fool, 96Corvette. NYSenior: Term limits would fix what’s wrong with Congress. 96Corvette: Not going to happen. The process has to start with Congress. They’re not going to put limits […]
Internet Dating
The Rivers
Last year I disappeared for two weeks, like Agatha Christie did once upon a time. Agatha and I have a lot in common. We’re both writers — she detective novels, me shopping lists. Also, we both like tea. Anyway, as I said, last year I disappeared for two weeks. Not literally of course — I […]
An Old Man Closes my Newspaper
He said murder and cancer were not topics worth discussing. New shoes or the activities of the sky — maybe, but not murder. He said he knew how to forget and how to eat without central incisors. His teeth were elephant pieces, calcified memories that had fallen away. No more chewing things over. No more […]