1. Does the couple touch, kiss, or pet each other excessively? If yes, no pet for them. They’ve been together for less than three months and will likely break up before the inevitable, adorable puppy they want is housebroken. Also, no puppy should have to see that much sex. If no, move on to question […]
Archive | May, 2008
Daddy’s in the Fire
Oh! Oh! Whatever shall we do? Daddy’s in the fire! He’s going to get a burned-o As the flames race higher. Now then children, there’s milk and there’s bread, So make you some supper and get you to bed.
Hipster Fish
Anti-matter in the Microwave
It turns out you really can find anything on the internet. One day Irving turned to me and said, “Hey, dude, you know you can make anti-matter in the microwave?” We’d spent most of the summer reading skateboarding magazines in the air-conditioned Chapter’s and surfing the world wide web. Sure enough he’d found half a […]
I am Negative, Develop Me
Unfixed and blurred, put me in the bath until I see clearly, until I am the picture of health. I am yours as much as the light, the shadow, the reason we try to preserve any- thing here in the ang- ular field, the art- ificial daylight. Don’t stop, f me, fix me in place.