The blonde is in somebody else’s bed.
King Robert’s drunk again. The realm’s a mess,
and Ned, your favourite character, is dead.
Queen Cersei’s brother-lover’s lost his…hand.
Freud tells us what that really means, id est:
The blonde is in somebody else’s bed.
Lord Tywin likes his enemies’ weddings red,
and the newlyweds can’t even get undressed.
[Ed. note: We need at least to see some breast.]
Now Robb, your favourite character, is dead.
Dany’s sad so she’s sleeping with her maid.
That means…some hot girl-on-girl action, yes!
The blonde is in somebody else’s bed.
Dragons! Wights! How does George hold it in his head!
No wonder fans are write-fully distressed,
worried their favourite author’s nearly dead.
Let George live! so we’ll learn what lies ahead,
though it may not be that hard to guess:
the blonde is in somebody else’s bed,
and your new favourite character is dead.
The following stanzas are left as an exercise for the reader:
Lady, your favourite character, is dead.
Drogo, your favourite character, is dead.
Renly, your favourite character, is dead.
Cait Stark, your favourite character, is dead. [HBO version]
Cait Stark your favourite character’s undead. [Book version]
Joff, your (least) favourite character, is dead.
Jon Snow, your favourite character, is dead? [Cliffhanger! You decide!]
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