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10 Must-Have Items for WFH

By on May 10, 2021 in Poetry
  1. Candelabra: Get a million of them — you honestly can’t have enough! It really adds to the mood. Are you having a cozy work-from-home, or are you finalizing a deal with Satan? Ha ha — who knows?
  2. A really good Zoom background: Sometimes I’m a little messy! I’m a messy bitch, I admit it. The tunnel system I live in — yikes. It can be a handful to clean. So I have a folder of different Zoom backgrounds that I throw on the screen whenever I need to hop on a call. Currently, I’m really into the Central Perk coffee shop from Friends. Such a conversation starter. I mean, I’m definitely a Monica. 
  3. Gondola: I’ve got jacked arms, and you know why? Gondola.
  4. Spare chandeliers: I keep several for crashing when I need to dramatically exit a Zoom meeting or when people aren’t listening to my ideas. (I break a lot of chandeliers.)
  5. Nineteenth-century pipe organ: I love to play loud, haunting tunes all day long. 
  6. A Tonymoly hydrating lavender sheet mask: Any opaque sheet mask will do, really. I usually cut mine in half because, you know, my face is a melting skull. When I’m feeling lazy, I just fold the mask in half for double hydration!
  7. Lumbar pillow: Girl, trust me.
  8. Athleisure: Did you know Lululemon makes capes? Well, they don’t, but they should. I’ve been living in their leggings, though. 
  9. Therapist: Très important! My doctor says I’ve been making so much progress. Or at least she would, were she not locked up in my room of glass. If you can’t afford a therapist, kidnap a young ingenue and project all your childhood trauma on her. I swear by it!
  10. Ornate chest full of items stolen from your beloved: Okay, hear me out.
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