Feathertale took home a Digital Publishing Award on June 5 for Digital Innovation in Storytelling. It was the first time Feathertale has been nominated for a Digital Publishing Award. The award honoured The Feathertale Review Issue 29. That issue was also nominated at the National Magazine Awards for Best Single Issue. This marked the sixth time Feathertale had been nominated in the Best Single Issue category (the magazine previously won in that category for Issues 9, 14 and 27).

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Feathertale wishes you a very groovy new year, wherever (or whoever) you may be.

We had a lot to celebrate in 2025. We reinvented our little magazine into a sketch comedy troupe, released our first Double LP and took over Toronto’s airwaves for a four night broadcast of our latest issue. If you haven’t yet given the Feathertale album a listen, you can stream it now on Apple Music or Spotify. And you can still grab a limited edition vinyl copy direct from our website or from select book stores and record shops across the country.

Stay tuned for more big things from us in 2026 as we gear up for our 20th anniversary.

Until then…

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Welcome to our latest creation — a fully audible issue of our award-winning magazine, featuring 90 minutes of imaginatively unimaginable storytelling.

Click here to view the issue as a PDF.

You can also listen to the record in its entirety on several streaming platforms.

Click here to listen to the album on APPLE MUSIC.

Click here to listen to the album on SPOTIFY.

No need to thank us for any of this. You’re already welcome.

— The Editors

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Lackey: What do you mean?

Patron: I mean, I paid you good money to bring me the most important authors of our time, and you brought me . . . nineteen monkeys?

Lackey: I bought twenty, but there was a fight and . . .

Patron: Hence the empty work station.

Lackey: I’ve got feelers out to a couple of preserves. I’ll find a replacement.

Patron: That’s still only twenty. The proverb says “an infinite number of monkeys.”

Lackey: Okay, but the number of monkeys in the world is finite and shrinking due to habitat loss.

Patron: How many monkeys are there in the world?

Lackey: That depends on whether or not you count the humans.

Patron: Humans count?

Lackey: Scientifically.

Patron: Are you a scientist?

Lackey: No.

Patron: So how many monkeys?

Lackey: Well, there are seven billion humans, give or take. They represent the lion’s share.

Patron: And if we exclude the humans?

Lackey: A couple of million.

Patron: Jesus. Okay. Buy the two million and start a breeding program.

Lackey: With respect, the universe is finite. It is physically impossible to accommodate an infinite number of monkeys.

Patron: I thought you weren’t a scientist.

Lackey: I’m not.

Patron: Good, then you can find me an infinite workspace somewhere outside the universe where we can put the monkeys with the typewriters? Typewriters! What are those things the monkeys are using?

Lackey: Computers?

Patron: Does the proverb mention computers?

Lackey: I don’t think there were computers . . . Anyway, the computers are equipped with ChatGPT, which I think is important. Keep in mind the monkeys can’t read.

Patron: Any idiot can write with ChatGPT.

Lackey: Exactly.

Patron: No, it has to be low-tech. Technology saps the life from everything and leaves us with pointless drivel. If I wanted pointless drivel, I’d hire a writer. The monkeys represent our hope for an authentic story that will touch as all, but only if you give them typewriters.

Lackey: But look at that one . . .

Patron: Is he playing Minecraft?

Lackey: That one there has figured out how to apply for government documents. Oh, and that one there is siphoning funds from you and transferring them to the one with the passport.

Patron: Typewriters. I said typewriters. Was that so fucking hard?

Lackey: Well, they’re not exactly making a lot of typewriters these days.

Patron: Fix it. Fire these nineteen monkeys that you’ve polluted with your technology, replace them, and put them in front of typewriters.

Lackey: I would, but I’m afraid you’re ruined. I work for the monkeys now. They’ve engaged me to find humans to type the next blockbuster. Here’s your computer.

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Anonymous Bat: A nocturnal animal, the Anonymous Bat misses out on the action during the daytime. While other anonymous animals work hard during daylight hours, the Anonymous Bat is nowhere to be found. When the sun finally sets and other anonymous animals ready themselves for sleep, the Anonymous Bat goes to work, feeding on the ripe fruits of its labour. With the sun now rising, the other anonymous animals wake to see much of what they had accomplished during the previous day has been chewed up and spoiled.

Anonymous Elephant: Known for having a great memory, the Anonymous Elephant remembers all. While this is sometimes a welcome addition to the anonymous animal kingdom, its flawless memory is a testament to the evolutionary need of the ability to forget as a precursor for sanity. The Anonymous Elephant remembers every bit of minutiae from every meeting of the anonymous animal kingdom, and stomps around the deck trumpeting it back, driving other animals mad.

Anonymous Hyena: A natural pack animal, a lone Anonymous Hyena is a shy animal, rarely being so bold as to make any changes or leave comments, instead sticking to scavenging small tweaks and other leftover bits of work. But when joined by other Anonymous Hyenas, it grows emboldened to attack other animals higher up on the food chain, setting off a feeding frenzy of edits and comments.

Anonymous Cormorant: A small, fussy little bird, the Anonymous Cormorant is a mostly harmless presence in the Google Slides ecosystem, lacking the size needed to make any real impact. Known for its tendency to nest year-round, it makes the slide deck its home, constantly making small additions and endlessly moving little bits around, none of which have any real impact other than to make itself more comfortable.

Anonymous Crow: Despite being one of the more intelligent birds, the Anonymous Crow cannot help but be obsessed with shiny objects and other flashy things. Often appearing with the intent of providing a high-level bird’s-eye view, the Anonymous Crow instead rarely makes it past the first view pages, fixating exclusively on the animated GIFs and bright colours of the title slide, squawking its opinions for all to hear.

Anonymous Python: A silent predator feared by many, the Anonymous Python lurks silently, searching for an animal grazing where it shouldn’t be. Known for biting off more than it can chew, the Anonymous Python often expends all of its energy devouring a single large animal, leaving it dormant on a random page while it slowly digests.

Anonymous Grizzly: The top of the food chain and an apex predator, the Anonymous Grizzly is at the same time fat, slow, tired and looking for food more than a fight. For the most part, it is content to take a slow walk through the deck, eating snacks and taking a few rest breaks along the way, until eventually finding a quiet corner to hibernate for the next few months.

Anonymous Skunk: While relatively low on the food chain, the Anonymous Skunk is a vain rodent with a high opinion of itself, requiring other animals to afford it a wide berth to strut through the deck at its own pace. When unbothered, its impact is minimal, but in the event it is backed into a corner or thrown under a bus, it will cause a stink that will linger for weeks.

Anonymous Beaver: One of Mother Nature’s most industrious creatures, the Anonymous Beaver is nothing if not hard-working. Unfortunately, its effort is oft-misplaced. The Anonymous Beaver sees every breezy, easy-flowing stream of words as a threat, and as a result works diligently through the night to clog things up with walls of nearly incomprehensible wooden text. When every sentence ceases to flow, the beaver rests.

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