Archive | Short Fiction

Craigslist ad posted by Kim Jong II

$1.75 — 65-year-old man seeks roommate to share seven-story pleasure palace in Pyongyang ASAP!!! What up people, So I know this is totally last minute, but I had to kill my roommate in his sleep last night after he made eye contact with me. But, hey, as my father used to say, one man’s death […]

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Cyclone

I do hope you’ll make a fire this Christmas. I don’t think so. The rabbit’s in the fireplace. Why did you stick it in there? Realistically, how many fires are we going to build? It’s Cyclone’s home now. Cyclone? The girls came up with it. Where’d they get that name from? I don’t know. They’re […]

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A Love Letter to Taco Bell

Dear Taco Bell, Jesus Fucking Christ, how great are you?  I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that maybe you might be bigger than Jesus and the Beatles combined. You know what; I’m going to go there. You ARE bigger than Jesus and the Beatles, but only because three of those […]

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Wile E. Coyote Hospitalized with Depression

Wile E. Coyote, arguably the world’s most famous coyote, has been hospitalized with severe depression, said sources close to the animal. Best known for roles in the Warner Bros.’ exploratory documentary series “Looney Tunes,” the coyote was oft portrayed as socially impotent and unable to fulfill important goals. The coyote was airlifted from his remote, […]

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