Obscenity is a fickle concept


They say it all started with a bang
But I like to think it was more of a pop
Like the one I hear in my lower back every time I get up from the toilet
Potty jokes are the lowest form of humour
Dwarves are the lowest form of humans
Physically speaking, of course
Heightist jokes leave a bad taste in the mouth
So do knickers
They say gravity is a harsh mistress
But not so harsh as Lorena Bobbitt
Skinnamarinky dinky dink has a whole other meaning if you’re a mohel
But that only makes sense if you’re Jewish
Everyone knows Einstein was a genius
But not everyone is aware he married his first cousin
And then slept with her
Or that he did naughty things
With Bunsen burners, baking soda and cork stoppers
Chemistry sets have no place in the bedroom
Neither do chicken wings
Unless you’re Bill Clinton
Perversions are often misunderstood
So are the lyrics to Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer”
I wouldn’t want to slow-dance with Tony Danza
But I wouldn’t object if he copped a feel under a table at Burger King
Obscenity is a fickle concept
James Joyce and D.H. Lawrence were once considered pornographers
But I’ve read their work and I didn’t get an erection
And trust me, I tried
Because literature is meant to be enjoyed

Illustration by Miko Macaszek

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