All old people are intrinsically racist

They say beating a dead horse won’t get you anywhere
But that doesn’t make it any less fun
I understand you can’t get blood from a stone
But I’d like mine back from the mosquitoes
There’s nothing funny about ripping limbs from an insect
And yet here I am about to hit cook
With a one-legged ant in my microwave
Nuking an arachnid then urging it to bite you won’t give you super powers
But it will reinforce everyone else’s belief that you’re an idiot
It’s a well-publicized fact that only the sexually frustrated wear purple
It’s less publicized that only sexual anglers wear sunglasses indoors
Tadpoles don’t look so spermatic when you’re a kid
But they do look like ideal substitutes for badminton birdies
Not all children are twisted and cruel
But all old people are intrinsically racist
Prejudices are horrible things
So are the English
Sherlock Holmes was an opium-addicted atheist
Osama bin Laden is an opium-profiteering believer
I’m not sure which adds more to society
The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus is the story of a man who sells his soul to Lucifer for power
Living History is the story of Hillary Clinton
Forrest Gump is a nice movie about a retarded kid who grows up to be a retarded man
W. is a movie about a guy named George
And that’s all I have to say about that

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