Author Archive | Grace E. Welch

Nice Kitty

“Here Kitty – let me pet your pretty fur” No. I don’t think so. (Yawn) This ledge is warm and I am busy watching my snack at play … “Here puss puss puss” Hmph. You weren’t so sweet when I brought you that juicy hoppy thing. Your scream curdled my milk. “Come and have a […]

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The Bedtime Butcher

You see a lonely pram gently bouncing two fat feet flailing and peek inside to find a face smiling pixie-eyed, chubby-cheeked (Don’t be fooled) Pretty gurgles snag on giggles arms outstretch inviting your heart expands with ache to take her home to snuggle and sing (Walk away) You carry her to your house play sing […]

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Holiday Traditions I Could Have Done WIthout

• Passing Christmas eve in a store • Spending more than the year before • Squabbling about your mum’s or mine • Standing in a boxing day line • Eating and drinking ‘til I groan • Family reunions on the phone • Scanning credit card bills in fear • Wearing fat pants after New Year.

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A Whale Tale

I hope ye don’t find this question silly, But, ‘Ave you ever bin to sea Billy? Take it from me there’s no better life than a ship fer a friend and the sea fer a wife. Dressed in me slicker of fisherman yellow Me mates all remark There goes a fine fellow. I love to […]

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Jogging Thoughts

Buttocks bouncing Obesity denouncing In my head pronouncing What the hell for? What the hell for? What       For What       For Jogging Is Such a Bore Pour. Snore. Wish I was napping Not pavement slapping My inner thighs are chapping. Pathetic useless bra My nipple’s getting raw O K Concentrate Find your gait Lose that weight. Breathe in […]

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