Author Archive | Philip Estes

I ask the cricket smashed in my entryway what paper towel I should use to smother him with. “Do you want Bounty? My roommate only buys paper towels she sees on TV.” He says I’m the John Wayne of crickets, son. Quilted pockets or not, I’ll only feel you for a bit. Just don’t shoot me […]

“You would look so much younger if you went to Jimmy Chung’s Hair Replacement clinic in Olathe at 135th and Quivera, in the shops at Deer Creek Woods.” “No thanks,” I say. “I’m not bald yet.” “Yes but your hairline is receding. I find strands and dandruff in the seats every time you leave the […]