The Ten Best Poem (a tribute to Publisher’s Weekly)

The ten best lakefront benches bearing drawn-on phallic symbols, the ten best business cards in the shape of lollipops, the ten best street vendors with moles under their left eye, the ten best street vendors with moles under their right eye, the ten best office building staircases in states beginning with the letter n, the ten best first place ribbons won by 4th grade elementary students in the last five years, the ten best books that are actually living, breathing cats, the ten best times someone confused the state and country of Georgia and lived to tell the tale, the ten best times I waited at a broken red light, the ten best songs hiding out in pet shops after dark, the ten best reasons you and I can never go back there, the ten best sneezes that actor from Law and Order ever ordered from a Chinese takeout, the ten best lovers taken in the midst of a philosophical crisis, the ten best weapons fashioned from living room furniture, the ten best Elvis impersonators framed for crimes they did not commit, the ten best lives lived in the background of the moon, the ten best historical novels of 2016 so far

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