Category Archives: Short Fiction

I smashed someone’s face in today. It all started because of those bastard letters made out of wood, make to look like distressed metal. They don’t spell anything – they’re just giant single letters and people put one or two of them on their wall – or worse, they lean them on a shelf. If someone I knew wanted one, I’d get them a ‘T’ for ‘Turd’.

I’m leaving you. I’m sorry to leave this note rather than doing this in person, but I thought it would be safer for both my brain and my heart.

’Twas the night before Christmas, and Wally the elf was working overtime again, for the eighty-sixth goddam year. His fingers were aching from all the wrapping of presents and tying of bows. All around him, thousands of his co-workers went about their business with ghastly cheerfulness, humming and singing Yuletide melodies that Wally had grown [...]

Amiable, verb – The ability to name oneself Ami Archaic, noun – Biblical, referring to Noah’s favourite cake Bonfire, noun – Flammable candy. See also: Bonbonfire Custody, noun – Toad flavoured custard, often mixed with vanilla and served on parsnips Dictionary, noun – A radical person who shuns a certain male organ Ejection, noun – [...]

The Time I Got Drunk and Wrecked My Bicycle in Front of My Freshman Dorm For the lead, I’m thinking someone with less of a drunk-for-the-first-time-in-his-life-on-Everclear quality, and more of an aloof cockiness (Shia LaBeouf, maybe?). And for the love interest, instead of having her disappear halfway through the first act like in the original, [...]