Category Archives: Banters

I have not supped on truffles in a French crêperie Nor blown snow from the peak of Kilimanjaro But I have drunk Bordeaux in Bordeaux And watered a tree in La Mancha They say the world is your oyster I say it’s my urinal If a man holds a door for you It means he’s [...]

The Chinese say when a tree falls the monkeys scatter And one mouse dropping ruins the whole pot of rice porridge They also say three people can make up a tiger Proverbs don’t always make sense Neither do my tax returns Delinquency is a term best used to describe misbegotten miscreants Not poor sods who [...]

They say beating a dead horse won’t get you anywhere But that doesn’t make it any less fun I understand you can’t get blood from a stone But I’d like mine back from the mosquitoes There’s nothing funny about ripping limbs from an insect And yet here I am about to hit cook With a [...]

They say Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall What they don’t tell you is he actually jumped Because that wouldn’t be suitable for children Rumpelstiltskin was a pedophiliac kidnapper Cinderella was an adolescent slave girl who got picked up by an older man And yet the Family Guy has trouble with the censors I don’t [...]

If my house is a lady And my desk a mister Then why does my wallet have a vagina Comprehending French nouns can be sexually frustrating So can a one-night stand with a seventy-two-year-old narcoleptic man named Yvette Despite what they say in Paris a potato is not an underground apple Leprechauns come from Ireland [...]